Scores of Bahamians take to social media to weigh in on long-debated issue
NASSAU, BAHAMAS — A former associate pastor at Pilgrim Baptist Temple and received some public rebuke yesterday after making several statements that rape is not possible in a marriage and if an individual wishes to maintain the right to decline sex, they ought not get married.
In a Facebook post on Wednesday morning, Christopher Huyler Roberts, a gospel recording artist, wrote: “There is no way a man married to a woman can be guilty of raping his wife. Utter nonsense.”
In a follow-up post, Roberts said: “If you want to maintain the right to say no to sex, stay single.”
He later acknowledged the statement was “intentionally controversial”.
The original post received close to 100 comments and just shy of 350 shares.
While many expressed shock at the sentiment and rebuked the statement, others agreed.
Some suggested the issue was more complicated.
Facebook user Michael Hepburn agreed with Roberts.
He said when a man and woman become married, the pair become one.
He suggested the government ought to repent for “making a mockery of God” by considering the criminalization of marital rape.
Alexandria D’sha Rolle said forced sex is rape, no matter the circumstances.
She said: “If husbands love their wives like Christ loves the church, this wouldn’t even be brought up in a marriage.
“But plenty marriages are highly abusive, so, yes, it is possible.”
Kayla Smith, a justice of the peace, agreed.
She said a woman’s body belongs to her just as much as a man’s body belongs to him.
“Respect the word ‘no’ and respect your partner and all would and can be well,” Smith wrote.
“If you respect your wife, ‘no’ should not cloud your judgment to bring harm to your wife.”
There were many other commenters who said “no means no” or “rape is rape”.
“I can’t agree with you on this statement,” wrote Monique Cooper-Collie, a divorcee.
“Rape is rape and my no should mean no.”
Bahamas Constitution Party (BCP) Servant Leader Ali McIntosh said marriage and rape should not be in the same sentence as duty-bound women will submit to their spouse and men will submit to the relationship “if the need is there to wait”.
She said: “Only sex after violence, involving the beating and wounding of an individual in marriage, should be considered rape.
“This definition is considered in both the Sexual Offenses Act and the Domestic Violence Act.
“A woman who submits her will to a man in marriage cannot withdraw it every time she wishes.
“She is duty-bound to lovingly submit when the time for loving is required, and he equally must submit to the relationship if the need is there to wait.
“The Godly marriage relationship will never have to have this conversation.”
This week, Prime Minister Philip Brave Davis said recommendations derived from the National Gender-Based Violence Law Review Forum held last week will be brought forward and enacted once the Cabinet deems them appropriate.
He again made his position clear that “rape is rape”.
Senior Pastor and Apostle at Global Worship Center Brenda Pratt also weighed in.
“What does the law consider as the definition of rape?” Pratt asked.
“Any many loving and treating his wife with honor, love her as Christ loves the church, will never have to worry about her consenting.”
Daron Rolle, another Facebook user, suggested the sanctity of marriage was being eroded.
“If you are legally separated, then sex should not be an option,” he commented.
“The vows we took before God and man [are] very serious. If a man forces [himself] on his wife — ‘force’ — that’s not love at all. Love covers, no expose.”
Businessman Garth Maynard Roseboro called for maturity on the issue, but opined that marriages would decrease, divorces would increase and there would be more incarceration should marital rape be criminalized.
He wrote: “…It is what it is. She says no, someone will say yes.
“Make sure you wear your body camera when she says yes. Otherwise, you going to jail.”
NO means NO …….. we need to examine this issue more …… wives are supposed to submit to their husbands but sometimes there are exceptions…. How can a man abuse his wife then afterwards want to have sex with her ….. no way ….. that’s rape to me!!!!!!
Very simple all married men should keep one or two sweethearts to go to when the wife says no. Being able to have more than one wife is also an option. Problem solved!