Editor,
“The greatest threat to our children doesn’t come from strangers. It comes from people we know and trust.” – Darkness to Light.
Experts state that 90 percent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by family and acquaintances. That 1 in 10 children will be the victim of sexual abuse before their 18th birthday. That 60 percent of children who are abused are abused by people the family trusts. And 40 percent or more of sexual abuse is perpetrated by juveniles. Hence, it is highly likely that we may know a child who has been or is being abused.
We are not telling you all this to scare you but to prepare you. A little awareness and a few abuse prevention steps can go a long way.
During the holidays, we spend lots of time and money attempting to create magical experiences for our children. We buy expensive gifts, take long trips and host sleepovers. We take great care in the gifts we purchase, looking for ones that marry education and fun, and hoping the thrill will last all year long. With time away from school, children will be on their electronic devices more frequently, and increased risk comes with increased use. When visitors abound, schedules get hectic, and you are often overwhelmed and distracted.
Pause & Reflect – Don’t Neglect!
While a house full of family and friends should be the safest place for our children, however, in reality, that is not always the case.
We keep saying this because it keeps needing to be said. Until adults understand how we may all unintentionally contribute to the enablement of sexual abuse – children will continue to be sexually abused, and as historically occurred, not disclose because they don’t feel safe.
Sexual abuse is not the fault of the child or non-offending adults in their life, but we can and must take responsibility to do everything in our power to protect and empower them.
How you monitor your children’s social experiences during the holidays is key to being a responsible parent.
So, what can you do? Here are some tips to ensure your children are safe during the holiday:
- Reinforce with your children that they do not have to be affectionate with anyone if they’re not comfortable.
- Be prepared to enforce your child’s boundaries; remember, it is okay to say no.
- Know where your children are and who they are with at all times.
- Limit alone time between a child and another adult, if possible.
- Confirm with your children not to accept gifts or treats from strangers.
- Remind your children that they should never post sensitive information online (such as their location, contact, etc.).
- Conduct random check-ins on children if they are playing out of view or at sleepovers.
- Review body safety rules: no touching/sharing privates, kissing, hugging, no secrets, no showing of naked photos.
- Promote an open-door policy, if possible, discourage children from playing in isolated areas of the house.
- Create a code word or phrase that your child can use to ask for help without calling attention to themselves.
- Talk with your children about who will be at your house, and if there is anyone, they will feel uncomfortable.
Remember, your child depends on you to keep them safe, so if you feel that something is not right, act; it’s okay to ask questions about activities and/or behaviors. And if your child is spending time with others, it’s okay to stop unannounced. And that an unintended audience may view your child’s posts online and even attempt to contact them.
Remember it’s important who is around your children and who they are around.
This year, make a point to revisit your family’s child protection plan. At the very least, we hope you’ll find that these tips help you to continue to set the example for your children that their safety is important to you, no matter what the setting.
We are not here to add stress to your holiday plans, but actually to help make sure that they’re memorable for all the right reasons.
Written by: Shervonne Cash-Hollis, Save Our Children Alliance
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