NASSAU, BAHAMAS — Bahamas Christian Council president Bishop Delton yesterday suggested the impact of amendments to the Sexual Offences Amendment Act to criminalize marital rape will be incalculable.
Fernander directed the bulk of his message during a one-day symposium to consult on the draft bill, toward church leaders expressing concern over government legislation interfering with the institution of marriage which he considers a spiritual matter.
Addressing the audience on the biblical perspective of marriage, the pastor said that there is a massive task for the church in preserving the ordinance.
“We ought to realize that the social decay that has reduced marriage to a forced act of sex means that we are in trouble as a society.
“I believe today, and it is interesting that social services which is involved in social science is looking for a legal mechanism to legislation and control what takes place in the bedroom.
“Marriage is not a government institution it is a God institution; it was created by God himself,” Fernander said.
He explained that over the past 13 years the church has gathered as a council to review and provide documentation in an effort to seek to protect all parties that are being raped.
“I want to say to us that as a nation, we cannot keep trying to fix problems by telling people what they should do. As pastors, we ought to be able to share this biblical principle with those that will listen,” Fernander said.
Guest speakers presenting at the Sexual Offences Amendment Act Symposium offered various perspectives on the issue of marital rape yesterday.
A number of government officials, members of the public, and community leaders gathered in the Breezes hotel ballroom as many voiced their concerns over the most recent draft of the legislation.
Recalling her first-hand experience in an abusive marriage, Tina Foster-Gay shared memories of what she describes as unfair circumstances that she struggled to get out of due to the makeup of the current legislation.
She said she suffered under the abuse of her spouse and decided to make efforts to leave the marriage after she witnessed her 12-year-old son being struck by him.
“Thank God for me that it was not too late. Many women including some sitting in here today, It is not too late. Married or not, get out. Save your life. I would not be here today if I didn’t do it,” Foster-Gay said.
The survivor shared her sobering story strongly encouraging others suffering in sexually abusive relationships to seek a way out. She also expressed dissatisfaction with religious institutions that encourage women to stay and “work it out” with their spouses who use force and aggression for sex.
“…Look at me, picture my head bleeding, picture my body broken and abused, picture me having to lay down with the very man that just almost choked the life out of me and then you go to God about that and ask him if that’s okay.”
Foster-Gay urged the government to empower the voices of people who feel alone in their struggles with rape in their relationships. She added that a person cannot be happily married if they are being raped.
“I ask you to stand behind women and men who are being abused whether we are married or not because the Bahamian population depends on you,” she continued.
“Our children depend on you. You want us to follow the institution of marriage which I strongly agree on, but not with abuse.”
Psychologist and physician, Dr. Ada Thompson who has treated victims of sexual abuse and rape, spoke about things that come about the severe impacts. She says that rape is a violent act and the damage it causes is often downplayed and she believes that such instances in marriages come about as misunderstandings between spouses about belonging to one another in a spiritual way.
“Some made a lot of damage physically to their genital area, cuts bruises, lacerations, sexually transmitted diseases of various kinds some are life-threatening and some are not but there are physical results, emotional results soulish results and spiritual results.
“When you rape someone, or someone is raped, something in them dies,” she said.
Thompson said that rape is not something to be taken lightly as it destroys a person’s dignity, and self-respect and impacts their overall wellbeing.
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