Dear Editor,
For centuries, a woman’s body was used as a tool to maintain a deeply entrenched patriarchal status quo; regardless of progress, women today still struggle for human rights. Time and time, we see many Christians misinterpret the biblical text 1 Corinthians 7: 3–5 to support their erroneous view that a wife can never tell her husband that she would like to defer having sex for a time.
Let me be clear, any “forced sex” without consent is rape, and God never condones rape. Marriage is not a license to rape, consent is everything. Rape is rape, be it marital or non-marital. We must not be seen as hypocrites, on one hand, we claim to be a nation that honors Christ, but on the other hand, we fail to acknowledge our social issues.
The truth is that sexual expression was designed by God to be an act of love within a marriage, and violence or coercion should never be a part of it. Forced sex is not love, it is the opposite. The Bible is clear: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19). The scripture can either repair or destruct. It can be an effective weapon for personal and spiritual battles, however, if the bible is misused, just like a sword that is handled carelessly, it can cause danger and conflict. As believers, we must not misuse scriptures to manipulate, condemn, judge, and mislead others.
Sexual desire and interactions are an essential and important part of the human experience. This experience can create a wonderful and necessary bond between sexual partners to produce intimacy, trust, and satisfaction both physically and emotionally. Beyond the scope of receiving pleasure and building strong relationships that are crucial to our development, sex is undoubtedly a core element in a marriage. Unfortunately, when sexual experience involves force, coercion, or violence against one spouse, it can lead to devastating results for the union, and the victim. Whether we admit it or not we do have a rape culture in this country.
In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “A nation’s culture resides in the hearts and in the souls of its people.”
It’s time we right the wrong!
We must not be dissuaded by distractors; It’s not only about changing the laws; it’s about enforcing and strengthening the systems that govern the laws. It is about protecting our women’s and children’s rights as human beings. Recognition of the inappropriateness of marital rape is, however, only the first step towards its elimination. To effectively equalize marital rape, both legislatures and judiciaries must take action.
Public opinions about this topic are prejudiced to a large extent by cultural, religious, and patriarchal beliefs. The main objection to the criminalization of marital rape is deeply in our patriarchal society, which is represented by a system of society controlled by men and the government.
While the recent court ruling reignited a heated discussion about marital rape and the law, regardless of it, there certainly lies a society beyond mature discourse. And before we criticize the opinions of others, we must consider and understand a
This topic is both sensitive and complicated, and it must be deemed as a top priority for this new-day government.
It is high time we address this uncomfortable truth. If we continue to ignore this elephant in the room, we can’t expect anything else but for victims to remain silent; and for this heinous crime against women to continue.
It’s time we right the wrong!
Rape is not about sex, it is about asserting power and dominance, humiliating, hurting, and punishing. It is a crime against humanity.
Enacting the law and criminalizing marital rape gives women basic human rights, and a sense of security against the most horrible crime that can happen within a marriage. Not taking action against marital rape further violates the fundamental rights of women: their rights to privacy, their rights to their bodily integrity, and rights to protection from exploitation.
Ensuring safety and respecting each other is what makes any relationship or interaction healthy. And relationships built on honesty, openness, and trust create a happier and healthier society. Mutual willingness and excitement are key characteristics of true love within a union.
It is time we right the wrong!
“Human rights are women’s rights, and women’s rights are human rights.” – Hillary Clinton
Shervonne Hollis
Founder, 242 Domestic Violence Support Network, Inc.
